A brand New and shiny Orleans part 1

I would like to talk about They Might Be Giants. Pretty much as long as I can remember I have been listening to them, intentionally or not.

When I was a kid one of my favorite shows was Tiny Toon adventures, though we just called it Tiny Toons because kids are lazy.

It was on tiny toons that I was first voluntarily exposed to TMBG (as the cool kids call them). I was likely exposed to them before then on car trips or around the house since my two older siblings also are rather large fans.

On Toons' they would occasionally have musical interludes. Two of these featured music by the infamous band.

The songs in particular were ISTANBUL and PARTICLE MAN

I have been listening pretty much regularly since then.


So around this time last year they were set to play in New Orleans at Tipitinas I bought my tickets months in advance and hi-tailed it up there. The show featured opening act Jonathan Coulton (of the great nerds vs glee war of 2013) and it was incredible. Audience participation, high energy, and a pungent smell of marijuana.

I left that show with two thoughts, They Might Be Giants are incredible and I have to go back to New Orleans as soon as possible.

It really is a magical town. The perfect mix of big city insanity with a squirt of southern charm. The one downside of the trip was that we arrived kthe day of the show and left the day after with precious little time to see the sights. Still though I loved every second of it, I toured the esoteric shops, got photos like a hipster, and got swag from the show for friends.

Hipster Shops

hipster photo

Swag Swag Swag

One such friend was an old highschool chum and current co-worker. We promised next time they are close we would travel together with enough time to take in the city.

Flash forward to November on a lark I checked TMBG's website and they were going BACK to New Orleans in March 2013...aka around now.

I once again bought tickets for myself, my sister and my friend.

Since I bought them months in advance my days consisted of EXCITEMENT, ANNOYANCE THAT IT WASN'T MARCH ALREADY, MORE EXCITEMENT.

When it came time to register to for classes I didn't take into account the fact that classes have assignments. Some such assignments are these little assholes called tests.

There was a test scheduled for day I wanted to leave.




















.......Pause for pity........












I know right? To make matters worse my friend got a better second job and it was taking up her time, so she couldn't make the trip.














....more pity please









Thank you.

This though came with some good news. Around this time I got back into contact with an old friend from the before times (high school).

Don't let the sweet face fool you, she is just as crazy as I am. Hence why she was perfect for a travel companion.


So the trip was restarted if a bit later than intended. The hotel was booked and things went along.

Then, like a miracle on 31st street, my teacher got sick. Now, I am not celebrating her getting sick but her absense means the test was pushed back.


Which means Thursday we were able to travel early. HUZZAH.


So since Malia lives in Alabama it was decided I should drive there and we will go off to New Orleans together.

So against my better judgement I drove off to ALABAMA!

I had arrived slightly early so I toured the local super market. It was called a "Wal-Mart", yeah like that will catch on.

I decided to pick up some deodorant because New Orleans is a big and smelly city and I am a big smelly man so I need to meet it halfway.

There was also conveniently a McDonalds attached to the store so I was able to enjoy my yearly tradition in honor of the season.

The great and mighty SHAMROCK SHAKE. This my friends is how you start a vacation properly.

So my friend got off work and we (we being she, I'm far too horrible of a person to drive) hit the road. We hit major ground on the interstate just as the sun was setting.

It was beautiful and like something out of a movie I wouldn't watch in a million years!

After a stop for gas and relieving fluids we stopped down in New Orleans and we checked into our hotel.

Here is where I should bring up the hotel. It's the same place that I stayed last year with my sister. The name is ST. Vincent's guest house. Whoever St. Vincent is I appreciate him shacking me up.

It the cheapest place by far I have found, only $70 a night tax and everything included. At best I would have to spend twice that per night at a proper big boy hotel.

That said, the lower price comes with certain...rustic qualities.

This is the building. It is a cool old building reconfigured into a hotel/hostel. It was easily the neatest looking building on the block.

As it is Saint Vincent's the is of course a visage of the virgin mother. So if the devil was to come out during our trip we will be protected.

After scrounging around the outside of the building trying to find the room we made and we happily not murdered.  This is the hallway of our room. I make no exaggeration that the entire time we were there this hallway REEKED of marijuana. The answer to your question, no we didn't find the source.


Now you people with your fancy marriots and holidays inn, and motel sixes might have nice amenities and little shampoo bottles and air conditioning. But do you have Arm & Hammer in the closet?

No is the answer

When we arrived we both took showers to wash the smell of travel off of us, an unhappy smell indeed.

The shower of the room was ... unique.

To get the right temperature you had to have a degree in engineering and be a graduate of Hogwarts (hufflepuff obviously)

It had to be turned just the right way or it would be either freezing cold or scalding hot. The rule we established for the trip is that you DO NOT turn the shower off after a shower if someone is going after you, so as to not disturb the balance of heat.

So calm looking, but so deadly!

Freshly showered and with  the closet fully deodorized we were ready to begin our first night in New Orleans.

OR SO I THOUGHT!

Malia informed be that we need our travel token. A foreign concept to me, the travel token is a good luck charm to make sure the visit goes swimmingly.


This was our token.

Yes it's bee mario, bee jealous... I'm sorry

And so, token in place we decided to begin we were almost out the door when we realised ... we weren't familiar with new orleans. ... Shit!

So like any pair of modern young people we did what we knew best we asked
THE INTERNET

So, yelp in hand we decided our first stop would be the majestically titled RUSTY NAIL, conveniently located 10 minutes walking away from our hotel.

With luck the bar that evening was running TRIVIA, and beer specials. Guess what I was more excited about? Trick Question, it was both!

Did we win trivia? 

NO! 

See if you can guess the answer

The bar was still very nice. Friendly patrons and bartenders, honestly the kind of place I would regularly go if I lived in town.

Also it has such quaint decor.

More bathrooms need this

Such a proud legacy

After the trivia and beers we decided we needed food. Since I had already done trivia, something that is easily done at my own town, it was decided we may as well have another slice of home.

We went to a pizza place. 

With a logo like that who wouldn't?

It was also about a minute away from the bar, so that helps. We decided to split a calzone with chicken and garlic. It is here I should mention a recurring theme of the trip, and the friendship of myself and Malia. FOURSQUARE!

The fun app for checking into your favorite places that everyone quit caring about 3 years ago. I turned Malia onto this before the trip so the recurring theme was racing to be the first to check in the all the places we visited.

Malia beat me to checking into magazine pizza and as a result of her checking in for the first time she was rewarded with a free slice of a cheesecake.

I could have got one too but that would have just been rude.

We scarfed down our food and thanks to the gigantic pieces of garlic cloves we decided to go back to the hotel and brush our teeth before going back off into the night.

We made the short, and totally not scary an murdery, trek back to our room. We freshened up and brushed our teeth.

We decided to sober up a bit to enjoy the evening more. During this I decided to take in the room a bit more.

I noticed the room came with a microwave that used, not buttons like our plebeian microwaves at home, but infact knobs.

FUCKING KNOBS!

I starred at this for a good 5 minutes in awe ...

 I was a little drunk.

To aide in our sober duties we took in some television to relax us.

This television by the way had cable FREE OF CHARGE. Yeah, we live the good life.

Does the Sheridan put tv's on wicker? I think not!

So relaxed on our comfy not uncomfortable bed we watched some tv all ready to hit the town again and then promptly... fell asleep.

Malia may say that I FELL ASLEEP first and she merely followed my suit but these are dirty and definitely not true lies!!!!!

So, thus ended our first night in New Orleans. What will happen next?

Will we ever wake up?

Will we ever see They Might Be Giants?

Will we drink more?

The answer to all of these is Yes, Yes, and Obviously but still read the next installment of THE TRIP TO NEW ORLEANS TO SEE THEY MIGHT BE GIANTS AND SEE OTHER STUFF AS WELL HOPEFULLY.