A small sized attempt at a new medium.

So I have had my finger in many pies artistically speaking. In the world of film I have made documentaries , Claymation (sort of) , Music Videos , and whatever this is . In the world of literature I have Short stories , and even an unfinished novel (still no updates on that btw).  One thing I have never gotten into is the more traditional medium of art.

This is due to my complete and total lack of skill in that regard. I can barely draw a line and any attempt at drawing anything resembling an actual human figure looks like something out of Dali's nightmares, and not in a good way either.

Recently though I decided to get a bug in my ass to make something. What had struck me was a lemon box at my work.

There was just something so fascinating about it. The silliness of it, the classic nature, and the near copy write infringement of superman.

Superman really needed more fruit in
his diet.

I realized then I had to take this home and do something with it. Using a trusty box cutter I did the only thing I could ... cut the box. Note my previous remark about straight lines, the left part of where I cut was a little rough. Already my art career is starting in the gutter. Not letting this stop me I soldiered on.

I figured the best was to go about this would be to glue it to canvas and Modgepodge over the front. 

In MOD we trust.

If you are unfamiliar with the podge, it is a glue and sealer. So: add a heaping amount it to the top of a craft and then BOOM instant art!

That is really all I know about it, I haven't worked with it before this. Honestly despite using and looking at it during the project I thought it was spelled "Modge Podge" and didn't know otherwise until looking for a photo. So I not the expert here, if you wish to do a similar project, google is your friend.

ANYWAY, I went to the hobby lobby in town and picked up my supplies. Supplies actually just consisted of canvases because we happened to have paint brushes and mod podge lying around the house because we are an arty lot in my family. 

The offending Mr. Squeeze was on cardboard so the first step before any arting can go on was to separate the awesome super lemon man from its cardboard prison. You can saw away with a knife of any kind (from x-acto to not so) but the way I found the best was to slowly pull it away by hand.

Very Slowly

These photos are taken 8 hours apart.

The reason to be so careful is that if there is a tear it will effectively ruin the entire project. I say this, it may not really. In my crazy head though, a small tear would spell disaster moreso than "insert disaster here". Yeah! that one!

So while meticulously tearing away my goal was to go slow and careful. If what I pulled up had a brown back I knew it was solid and easier to work with. If what I pulled up had a white back then I knew it would be more susceptible to tears and thus ruined for life.

SHIT!

One mini freakout later I was thankfully able to remove it without further incident. With that done I needed to cut the image to fit the canvas. This went mostly without incident.

I say mostly because you note the area cut versus the line drawn. Not to horribly aggravating though, the aggravating will come later. You'll see. 

With it cut MOSTLY without a problem it was time to get the other part. In addition to cutting off the Mr. Squeeze I also removed the logo for the fruit company.

It's owned by free masons apparently 

With a hopefully more steady hand I removed the outer parts of the image.

AND?

SUCCESS!

  So feeling accomplished I carefully glue the cut outs to the canvas, as seen here.

Yes we Can-vas ...
 I'll let myself out

Said canvas was actually purchased for $3 for a pack of two at hobby lobby. Say what you will about their religious convictions, those crazies pack a sale.

 The gluing goes mostly without a hitch. MOSTLY. But again I'll get to that soon.

So everything glued I gather my materials and wait for glue to dry.

It's a nice long boring task. But I usually find ways to kill that time.

 The glue dries and I add my first coat of the mysterious podge of life.

I wasn't able to get photos of the application process but for the curious the process is as follows

Brush

+

=

 Mindlessly slathering on goop is not exactly a skill, but I do still feel a sense of pride once the first coat is applied.

 Those familiar with the podge of unforgiving greatness know that it requires several coats to get the desired effect.

So the first applied I go to relax while it dries. But before I can start my ritual

I notice something about the canvas.

ENHANCE!

ENHANCE!

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDGE

I have not only improperly cut my amateur art piece I have glued and sealed the error for it to remain for all eternity. 

So with nothing left to do I finish sealing my "art" and the quotations must remain for I will be damned if my mistake can be called a true artistic statement I need a bigger drinking problem and less ears for mistakes to be considered successes. 

I have my masterpiece hanging up text to my bed as a reminder of never trying new things. Or perhaps it is a reminder of keep trying and persevering through failures. 

Well thank you for your time. Maybe I will take up poetry next.

Michele Rosenthal is amazing

I haven't written here since October, I will keep this short and break as many page margins as possible. Proper blogging in earnest begins later, first I have I MUST talk about my new favorite person. Michele Rosenthal!

As you may have guessed she is an illustrator, I didn't draw that. I think she is awesome, I'm not weird. In addition to creating this masterpiece

she has also recently taken on the Herculean task of watching and doing short reviews of the entire Criterion collection. That alone earns my respect, but she is also adding a cute illustration for each of the movies.

On that list is Lars Von Trier's not for the squeamish  film about ... something. Not to spoil anything the film has quite graphic depictions of sex and more disfunction than walmart at 2 am.

This was how she illustrated it.

  

A noticeable reference for those familiar with the movie and the most wonderful misdirection for those who have not. 

I don't really have much more to say but this picture brightened up my day and I take myself out of blogging retirement to sing this woman's praises.

LINKS:

Michele's Website

Her Criterion Collection Reviews