Delicious Cheesecake cups

Sometimes though, it's just good to be fat. In the good name of fatitude I present to you a truly decadent recipe that would make Caligula say "hey bro ease up" before electing his cat as Aedile. 

Ladies and gentleman:                   
                                                         The Cheesecake Cup.

By looking at this you gained 9 lbs.

What:
A sugar cookie crusted mini cheesecake with homemade blue/blackberry syrup dusted with cocoa and garnished with almond slivers. 

Why:
Some people just want to watch the stomach churn

How:

To tell you how this was made I must tell you of another devilish creation. 

The monstrosity above is a strawberry pie. The crust of said pie? Cinnamon rolls. Yes the frosting is that of cinnamon rolls (with cake frosting thrown in for color). As insane-genius as this is I cannot claim it as my own. 

My family in searches of Facebook and Pinterest discovered the idea of using cinnamon rolls as a pie crust. Initially it was apple pie, which we made and ate too quickly to photograph, and then the strawberry pie. 

These pies were delicious however they got me thinking. Immediately upon the success of the apple pie I thought of substituting the cinnamon rolls for sugar cookies and substituting the apple pie filling for cheesecake filling. 

After testing the waters further with the strawberry pie my stage was set. 

I couldn't go into this flabyss alone though I needed a friend, a compatriot, and most importantly someone to turn my ugly food presentable. 

My savior

So with my amazing helper along we began. 

The ingredients of our demise:

Cheesecake mix

Sugar cookie dough

Cocoa 

Powdered suger to act as a nonstick solution
for hands

Blueberries and blackberries (not pictured)

The first step in crafting the recipe was to mix the cheesecake...mix. After realizing the electric mixer was too hard to get to me and Marva took turns beating the mixture on "medium" (whisking very fast)

After it was sufficiently man powered the cheesecake mixture is placed in the fridge. If anyone reading this wishes to re-create we merely followed the recipe on the box. So learn to read.

It was then time to craft the cookie cups. To do this we scooped spoonfuls of the cookie dough in a muffin pan and spread the dough along the side. We rolled the dough in powdered sugar and powdered up our hands as we turned the dough into cups.  And by "we" I mean my friend Marva pushed me aside after I did a crap job. 

The early remnants of my horrible first ones

As she was doing this I helped out the only way I could.

beer and dessert go well together

When the cookies were done they were placed in the oven as indicated by the instructions on the dough.

While the cups were in the oven we then made the syrup to drizzle over top. And by we I mean of course

and of course

The syrup is fairly simple. Merely frozen blue and blackberries with water. You can also add lemon zest to taste if you so choose, we did.

 As Marva stirred away like mad on the addition of more sugar to our dessert I made sure the cups were setting correctly. I looked at the oven and immediately freaked out

The Rare Cookie Muffin

The cookie muffins thankfully reverted to a less perverse cookie cup after being removed from the oven happily.

Pictured: not a horrific muffin

After the cookies cooled we got the cheesecake mixture out of the oven and spooned it into the cups.

Optionally before the syrup sifting some cocoa before the syrup adds a stylish look and a hint of extra flavor to the mix. This is optional and course, but we of course did it.

And of course

The syrup is placed on the cups last after cooling and garnished with almond slivers. 

I also forgot to take pictures of the almond slivers
...whoops

With the cups finally done me and Marva relaxed in the only way we knew how.

Thank you for joining us on this journey to our eventual diabetes. And thank you to my good friend Marva for doing all the hard work.

12 movies in 12 months...ideally.

I had another blog about halfway done with catty comments and all that fun blogger stuff that people come to expect when I decided to write this one instead. I was talking with my mother about blogs (welcome to my world) and during this talk I mentioned that certain bloggers give themselves goals to achieve. Specifically I mentioned the "so many cakes" blog which aimed to make a cake a week for a year. This got me thinking about my 12 in 12 project and that it was at it's halfway mark.

Friends of mine that read this blog have probably heard me ramble on about this project plenty of times and in their cases just scroll down a bit I will get into new information.

For the unfamiliar people who get ahold of this I will break down what the 12 in 12 project is and is not. It is not in anyway inspired by Glenn Beck though I realize it sounds that way. The full title is

12 in 12 Under 12 in 2012

The idea of the project is to make one short video every month for 12 months. The "under 12" part of the name was a self imposed idea to make any videos under 12 minutes in length since I felt any longer and they would just drag on. I also set a rule that videos couldn't be shorter than about 3 minutes since I felt that would be cheating.

I went over further rules in the following video:

As seen in the video I encouraged others to get involved as well. That was the first train to just go right off the tracks. An infant sized handful of others seemed interested in also taking up the gauntlet but none followed through.

I am not surprised at the lack of interest. People I know in person who I asked to get involved have other things on their plate or are not interested in the idea. People I know online were probably otherwise weary of a relative unknown asking them to take on a project for no reward. So I knew in the back of my head that I may be the only one doing this.

As such I outlined rules mostly for myself. I did this to have a more strict structure to what I made. If I didn't this I would have gone to the pet shelter and made 12 cat videos with an adopted shorthair with one leg. I know I would do this, my laziness is legendary and we will touch on that soon.

Although the folks who I asked to make videos couldn't do it several offered to help however possible. Some were more helpful than others. I had several offer video ideas and were willing to be in one thing or another. Unfortunately a month only being  month schedules tend to conflict, it happens and I don't blame anyone for it. Actually I do blame them, angrily under my breath each time I see them and curse their very soul with voodoo, and they know what's coming. Those who did and do help me, and as such are safe from voodoo, still are much appreciated and I would probably be lost without you. I will thank you individually later in the blog.

Another rule I gave myself that I didn't state is that I wanted all of the videos to be 100% original material. Which is to say not having copyrighted material in any part of the video. This served two purposes. A) it helped to explore creative solutions to scoring videos. It's easy to just put a Jay-z song in a video, its difficult to come up with a viable alternative. B.) Anything owned by someone else puts my videos at risk of being flagged and possibly removed.

If I knew what that said I would be pretty annoyed at seeing it on my video.

Some ideas friends had, like a creative lip sync to a popular song, were shut down as a result of this. For the most part, however, this hasn't been an issue.

Now since I am half way through a progress report is in order. I figure month by month is best, I take each months film a say a bit about them and where I intend to go.

January : Saving Christmas: A Man, A Card and Their Journey

This movie came to be in late January. Something that has happened far too often for my liking is I get lazy or uninspired and can't come up with a movie idea, or at least one I can film easily. This one happened pretty much as is seen in the video. I was walking to work one day and found this card with a check and realized A) i should find the house and give it to the people and B) this would make a good movie. Priorities people! The minute I got to work I filmed the intro and Jordan's interview. After I got to the house and it was abandoned I still made the calls. Schedules got in the way of most of them but still got a good response and all the people involved helped it look more pro.

I should say here that the idea has and will continue to be quantity over quality. I knew and know that what I put out will not always (or ever I suppose to some...jerks). I was happy with this movie, there are parts that I cringe at, mostly editing errors. A big part of this was to get better at filming things and editing, and a subject like this helped.

Sidenote: I actually had to dispute a copyright clame on this video despite all the music being made with loops and garage band. Madness!

Febuary: Sock it to Em'

This video represented an issue I brought up early and will come up in the next video, scheduling. This video came about because I bought a set of rock em sock em robots on sale and thought that it would be a funny idea to make a rags to riches boxing movie. Most of the month passed and I realized I wasn't going to be able to make other ideas. I intended to get other people to do the voices but again...schedules. People are busy...people. I was happy with how this silly little movie came out. I got some nice comments from people for it. So as much of a throwaway as it was it was fun to do. Not much to say about it though...so

March: Play Death

This was the type of movie I intended to make when I first thought of the project. Stop motion is big love of mine and I wanted to experiment with it as soon as I could. Playdoh is not the most resilient of substances and it caused some issues. Also stop motion is hard man. Some shots lingered too long so not enough and other issues made from an amateur film maker with limited time. Also I should say this here I film these movies with my phone. An iphone4 specifically is used in all the movies except for the first which uses a hand held camera whose computer hook ups are lost. I will end up with wildly different aspect ratios with certain shots which looks crappy. Another problem is filming in hd (or faux hd) the videos have huge file sizes. So unloading all the scenes for the first movie was giving me 20-30gig file sizes for the finished products. I had to reduce the file sizes in final cut and I get odd glitches. Something I started with this movie was to edit everything separately. That way i could reduce the individual movies and glitches occurred less often..somehow. It's magic i guess.

April* - SWHF - Cocaine Cowboys

Note the asterisk by April, this video was late. The video was uploaded on may 19th. About midway through April I was working on a documentary about shaving a mustache I had not shaved off for 18 months at that point. Its the kind of silly film idea I love to work on. The intent was to have people talk about mustaches and have that interspersed with my last day of mustache hood. Through no fault but my own those interviews weren't done. But I was still working on it to try and make it work. However about this time I tried to upgrade my computer memory and in doing this my computer wouldn't turn back on. So with other things lingering around in the ether I wasn't able to get my computer fixed until late April. This coupled with me gearing up for a week long excursion to Orlando led to the mustache movie being scrapped. Though the trip and a badly put together documentary would soon join each other in the next months entry.

As for the actual movie that I did make for april, this is a music video for my friend's rap group sea world high fashion (formerly sea world bitches). Making a music video for them is appropriate since such a video was the first thing I uploaded on youtube channel I made for the intention of seriously making movies. A big part of why I did this project and wanted to get into film in general was me wanting to get as many people as I could involved in making something. For this movie it was very successful. We had an idea planned, I filmed it and Dillon (the reason what for travel) actually edited. It's a silly video sure and I will cover it and it's companion music videos in another entry...probably
May - The Magic of Travel

The reason we went to Orlando was to meet my old friend and Austin's (my travel buddy) brother Dillon. Ever the opportunist I figured it would be appropriate to try and throw together some sort of travel vlog in blatant disregard of my rules. I tried to somewhat justify it to myself by thinking of it as a travel documentary, but it was a vlog.

I'm honestly not happy with the final product. A combination of lack of footage along with wanting to get this out before the end of the month left me with than a less than stellar product. In short: the trip was fun but the movie resulting from said trip was not.

June - Fast Car Dark Road ...you know

This is an unofficial music video making two so far for the project. In my personal goals for this thing I made a mental note to not just make a bunch of music videos. My goal is to make at least a few narrative films as part of the project and since I am no Spike Jonze by a long shot the videos I make will not tell a very cohesive narrative story.

Though as I said before working together was a goal and this helped me do this. This also helped me use another technique: recycling unused footage. The actual footage we shot for this video actually runs out right after the first chorus. I was forced to scramble the jets and assemble the rest of the footage from what i had lying around on my hard drive. The backwards car shot is leftover from my christmas movie and the walking shot was from a trashed idea I had for another film which I won't disclose incase I reshoot and reuse it. Those and a few other shots help put together a slightly more cohesive product. The final video is not exactly what we had in mind, hence the unofficial title but it is close enough to be an official unofficial product.

July - ????


Yes here we are at the ass end of July and I have to show...nothing. It is likely the movie I make for July will be either A.) released at the end and rushed or B) Released at the beginning of August and still probably a little rushed.

This project has taught me a lesson about time management and as bad as it seems now, had I not imposed goals all I would have is 12 unfinished movies sitting on a hard drive. Would they be better than what I did release? Maybe. In the end though that's not the point of this. If I make a good movie that is awesome but if at the end I at least proved that I could finish something it bodes well for when I want to make a movie and have a more loose schedule that it might actually get done. This my friends is process I promise you.

For want of a comfy chair

What follows is an old picture I took and the poem I wrote about it.

For want of a comfy chair in the corner of the room, this will have to do.

100 bad first dates with one finally going well, for want of a comfy chair this will have to do.

One exhausting prom night, for want of comfy chair this will have to do.

895 days of saving wages of a 9-5 job for want of a comfy chair this will have to do.

1000 dollar jewelry and a million nerves for want of a comfy chair this will have to do.

10 days on a Hawaii honeymoon sunburnt ass and for lack of a comfy chair this will have to do.

5 years 4 love handles an untold amount if dirty diapers and the sagging depression that follows both for lack of a comforting feeling this chair will have to do. 

3 jack and cokes 2 glasses of champagne and one unsatisfying night with a coworker, for lack o a conscience this chair will have to do.

1 divorce hearing untold legal bills and  everything including the chair in a uhaul going to a house I am not allowed to visit, for lack of a chair a bullet will have to do.

The BEZL and iphone cases

In my last post I brought up kickstarter. I plan on writing a full long boring post on kickstarter later but  for this post I figured I would talk about a specific product I found in my searches. It is a iphone case and before I get into specifics about being an iphone user.

There is a stigma attached to the iphone (and apple products in general) as it being trendy, overpriced, elitist and so on and so forth. The assumption of apple users is that they are the brainwashed masses muting anything and everything with an apple logo on it. I am not arguing against these people, they certainly exist.

They always have.
Via http://dadsaretheoriginalhipster.tumblr.com

Everyone who owns any apple product, however, is not a diehard fanboy. I got my iphone because it isa fairly impressive camera for a smart phone and it was easier to bring over the apps I bought on my iPod touch. For those two causes it works fine. My angry birds and rope cutting are intact and while it's not the most full featured camera but the image quality is decent enough to be worthwhile.

Pretty flower illustrates point and smells nice

So cagey defense of my choice of mobile out device of the way I will talk about the silicone ark of the covenants we are forced to wrap our phones in.

Now even with a somewhat suspect warranty in place dropping your glass in front and back phone would cause some issues to say the least.

So a case is an essential product. Also if you are one of the 10% of the population born left handed or you just hold the phone in a certain way bars can drop dramatically. Since I don't typically go mountain climbing I do need one of those tank cases that people insist on. I just go with a screen protector and a fancy case. The issue I run into is that since I use my phone as my camera the flash is inhibited by the case. This is where the BEZL kickstarter comes in.

All the information for the BEZL is available here at it's kickstarter page.

The condensed version is that the bezl is a case that isn't a case. It consists of four plastic pieces covering the four edges of the phone. This maintains the visual aesthetic of the phone with a minimalist design which is always good for us elitist apple folk.

How well it works is up in the air, as it is just a prototype for now the only person to test the product is the person asking for the donations but it's a solid idea so there is no cause for major concern.

It's a nifty idea and with it being a kickstarter you only get charged if it reaches its goal. So really you are only pitching in a hypothetical amount of money for the next month. So if you don't have an iphone and like to gamble throw some cash at this and see if it's still in your account in the next month.

In memory of failures new and old

It has been two full months since my last update to this blog. When this blog was started I had already conceded to not finishing the book by the end of November. However the intention of posting it wasn't just to parade my failures in a grand display of failure. I had intended to become encourage through sharing to write more, and indeed I had written more but I am nowhere near a satisfying end. I thought about this while looking at my sparsly updated blog and word document and wondered what stymied my progress in November and since.

What many of the successful NaNoers did was to do as the project required literally. They wrote 50,000 words of a novel. The difference between them and me is that I attempted to write 50,000 words of a novel in sequence whereas some of the successful writers merely wrote several different parts and later assembled the missing pieces. Also I think I over thought the project and should have just wrote with a goal of X words a day and not worry about why it makes sense.

Either way that was why I didn't finish in November, it doesn't explain why I haven't started writing more since then. Why I haven't written more is broken down into three groups

1.) Self doubt
 I go through periods of depression and can't dare do anything productive. During this time I will order myself a large waahburger and french cries. Also if the depression is bad enough I will order a very real burger and fries. This group actually segues nicely into group too

Pictured above: self doubt. Glasses don't help ideas flow

2.) Laziness 

No buts about this I can be a lazy fool. I have gotten better but the fact is the mighty electronic machine that I write my stories also has everything I would want in my lifetime. If I downloaded things illegally it would have enough for several lifetimes. So when I sit down to write on the computer it competes with youtube something awful and a litany of other things that capture my short attention span. Even as I write this I tabbed away several times to look at kickstarter projects. 

It's what Billy Shakes would have wanted people!

Thankfully it's not all depression and steampunk Shakespeare. I do have more reasonable...reasons for not  writing.

3.) Important or seemingly important distractions
It may be hard to believe but I am an adult.

Cigar+Mustache+Polo=Adult

As an adult I often have to deal with adult concerns and put projects on the backside. So if things are hectic at work or if essays are due at school I may not even think about writing for weeks. If family comes in they will get first priority over projects, though depression and internet may push them to second.

Now those are the obvious ones. The seemingly important distractions are where things get hairy.

I have the tendency to take on several things at once. So around the same time I started NaNoWriMo I got the idea to do a movie project in 2012 where I make a new short film every month and upload the results to youtube. In my head I can justify it by saying that I am not writing because I'm making movies. Though in reality most of my films are made at the end of the month. Though I will save that for a later entry. And later entries is what I am getting at with this post.

I may never finish my novel, but hopefully I will. Regardless of this I want to keep this blog active and if it's not with novel dumps then it will be with more bloggy things. Long form posts that are too lengthy for  my Facebook Twitter or Tumblr (yes I have all three) will go here.

Though here is my promise. If I go a month without an update I will go into my vault of failures and expose the embarrassing past for all to see. Breaking down my issues with writing have been therapeutic and if I have to do that with my other projects I will.

Heres to a future of happier posts.

Entry ten

Sorry about the lack of updates. I will save time and upload the rest of the book as I wrote it in november of last year. From here I'm not sure what to do. My immediate attention is on my 12in12 project and when I have time my plan to rewrite the book from scratch to fix the many errors.

                     3.

It was a cold and rainy Louisiana night Twain is standing alone undercover of a building. He had come down to Mississippi to meet his family and as it happens Tesla was having a showcase in Louisiana. Twain agreed to come down and meet. Somehow Tesla also convinced Twain to gather intelligence on any shady goings on in New Orleans. They agreed to meet here on this night to form a plan. Twain taps his toes; he has been under this awning for over an hour. Frustrated he takes out his flask emblazoned with his initials, with his hand covering only M was visible. The flask was actually a gift from Tesla; anything inside the flask will always stay cold. He takes a deep sigh and says to himself "Whiskey can warm even the coldest soul" as he takes a deep swig.

As he says this a man jumps from a passing carriage dashingly. "Only a writer can make alcoholism so poetic", says the man. "Yes, Tesla, and only a scientist wouldn't own a watch" says Twain. "I said meet me here Sam you were the one who insisted on it being a specific time. I suspect you do this just so you can complain and sulk in your flask. So what's on the agenda tonight then?"

"Same as always, fight corruption, bring peace, and if there's time stop a murder or two."  "Well then" says Tesla as he hands Twain a six shooter that hums with light as it's loaded "looks like I'm right on time."  Twain rolls his eyes “Poetics aside, there have been disappearances in the area over the past couple month. Issue is, they are all people associated with public office.”  Murphy J. Foster took the office of governor in 1892. For the first few years’ things were going off fairly well, recently however friends and family members of the cabinet have turned up missing. “I would say it was Foster, but if I was a prominent figure as much as he is then I would pick people a little less close to me to secretly murder.” Said Twain. “Please, Sam do not talk about these people as if they were dead. Hopefully those who have disappeared are in one piece. What we need to do is figure out what those missing have in common. You have a list of the victims correct?” Said Tesla. Twain nodded and took out a list.

“The victims were as follows: "person: close personal friend of lt governor  Hiram R. Lott, sister-in-law of secretary to the governor’s office, and the second cousin of the press secretary" said Twain. "Something doesn't sound right Sam, other than their involvement with the governor there is no connection" said Tesla "Well they all gave bogus excuses for their disappearances. As follows their excuses were:  A fishing trip, wedding and my favorite 'taking time off to reconnect with nature’. Most relevantly though they were all seen together at a cocktail party at the governors mansion. Though when their loved ones found their notes it was weeks later and several day apart for each." said Twain " "If there is a connection it is at the governors office. How were you able to get yourself in the first time to gather intelligence?" asked tesla. "This is Louisiana are you serious, I'm a god in these parts I just gave the governor a copy of Huckleberry Finn and I was allowed to stay for the weekend." "Well then I am sure they would love to meet your famous scientist friend who will give an original scientific display." said tesla " oh did you have anyone in mind?" Twain and Tesla laughed.

    It was a black tie affair; the citizens and the governor’s office in Baton Rouge Louisiana were thrilled to have not only a famous writer, but a famous man of science amongst them.  Tesla promised " a completely original experiment, not seen by man or beast or even tesla himself." In realty he was just repurposed old electricity experiments and rigged up a slightly modified coil with a fancy paint job. “Ladies and gentlemen” said Tesla “I present to you the power of the lightning bolt harnessed in this very room.” Tesla walked to a panel and flipped several switches. Giant bolts of electricity shot from the freshly repainted Tesla coil. Tesla despised having to do experiments outside of a controlled lab but for the sake of the disappearances he accepted the irregular experiment space. He did however have them remove every curtain in the house to prevent a potential fire.  The experiment combined with some watered down absinthe provided by an "anonymous donor" whipped the people into a dubbed down stupor. After the experiment Twain and Tesla convened by the front entrance. “Alright Sam, this is our chance to get to the bottom of this. We will split up and explore as much of the house as we can. Look for anything that is out of place. If you are stopped just tell people how lovely the house looks and how you are considering buying one for yourself, that said these people are so drunk the only thing you will have to do is stop a fight” Tesla said whist giggling to himself. “Ok Tesla, I like that plan. I have one modification to the plan though. Since I was playing detective for you all week how about you do everything you just said alone and try to get to the bottom of things. I will be at the bar and get the bottom of a bottle of scotch. The missing people just might be there.” Twain then patted Tesla on the back and made his way to the bar near the living room. Tesla then spent the next hour or so sweeping the house for clues. Picking up this, making sketches of that, and in one occasion he even seemed to place something in a specimen bag. Twain was perfectly content; the mansions bartender was passed out. It seems he sampled a bit too much of his own supply as he lay underneath the counter with a light green stain along his shirt collar. While Tesla was snooping around the house and making nice for people who were not drinking that night, Twain was making himself mint juleps and brainstorming novel ideas on a folded piece of paper out of his pocket. Eventually the Governor himself passed out and the partly was ended. Twain and Tesla said their goodbyes to the socialites of Louisiana and agreed to meet in the morning.

Twain sat at the restaurant and continued to write ideas. Inspired by his recent adventures with Tesla he was writing another sequel to the adventures of Tom Sawyer. He was just outlining the characters traveling in a hot air balloon when Tesla walked in. He sat down next to Twain and ordered a coffee, after the waitress left Tesla produced a large bag out of his pocket and laid it out on top of Twain’s notes. Tesla then pulled out a large wet leaf from the bag. “Sam do you realize what this is?” Twain removed the bag from the table and put his notes away. “Well Tesla, botany is really just a hobby so you are putting me on the spot. However, I am fairly confident in saying that it is a leaf.” Tesla rolled his eyes “Yes Sam it is a leaf. More importantly it is a leaf found at the governors mansion.” “I hate to break it to you Tesla but leaves are fairly common in these parts. Especially at a dinner party with open windows and no curtains.” Said Twain. “Yes but I’ve checked, this leaf not found in any major parts of Baton Rouge or most of Louisiana at all for that matter. This type of leaf is only found in swampland, specifically swamplands found in New Orleans. Hope you packed your bags” “Around you I always have my bags packed so I can make a quick exit whenever you finally jump off the deep end. I am really glad I got new pants for this trip. Nothing helps a good pair of pants like swamp water. So are we going to wander aimlessly through the swamp lands because as fun as that one sounds I think I would rather stay here and work on my novel.” Said Twain.  “While I will always encourage you writing more Sam you do not have to worry, we have a final destination. The leaf also had traces of white make up, I suspect it is the type worn by voodoo priests.” “Fighting voodoo lords? Can I take it back and wade through the swamps?” joked Twain. “Look at the bright side, I am sure you will find a way to work this into the novel.” Said Tesla. “If I survive this experience I will keep it to myself.

After a few days travel Twain and Tesla arrived in New Orleans. Knowing the city as well as they did they knew there was only one place to ask about a potential kidnapping plot featuring voodoo priests and god knows what other scum from the bottom of the social ladder. “What will you two have” said the bartender in a thick Cajun accent. “I will have a scotch and my teetotaler friend here will have a water.” Said Twain. The bartender pushed the drinks in their direction hard, much of the drinks spilled out soaking into the bar’s wood grain counter. Twain paid the man and he bolted off across the other side of the counter before Twain could ask him a question. Tesla produced a paper envelope out of his pockets and poured a white powder in his drink. He then, from another pocket, produced a spoon and stirred his drink before returning both items to their respective pockets. “Trying to knock yourself out before the fun begins Tesla?” Asked Twain. “No such luck for you Sam, this powder removes impurities in water. Considering this water is darker than your whiskey it is mostly impurities.” Tesla’s glass slowly bubbled and yellow film formed on the top of the glass. Tesla grabbed the film from the top of the glass and threw it on the ground mixing it into the wood floor with his feet. He then took a sip of his newly cleaned water after whipping his hands off on his trousers. “I left my country to avoid places like this, I really do hope you are wrong and these people are ok mark because otherwise this trip is going to be infuriating to me.” Said Tesla “Well look at that you managed to find a mirror that shows how I feel every time we have one of these “adventures”. Now, if the bartender will not talk to us we have to treat this like prison. The one who knows the most will probably be the biggest and meanest one here.” Across the room at the back of the bar there was such a man. He was seven foot tall and several inches wider than twain or tesla and was almost larger than the two of them out together. He was wearing what was once probably a very nice outfit, though now was covered so much in cuts and tears with a hint of dried blood that it more closely resembled peasant rags. He was completely bald and a face that had not been shaved in at least a week. His entire body was covered in scars ranging from tiny abrasions to ones large enough to not ever conceivably survive from. The most obvious of them was the one on his face. It began on the high of his cheekbone and went to just above his right eyebrow. His right eye appeared to be only cosmetic. It was almost completely white save for a faint hint of a pupil and an iris. If they actually put peoples faces next to definitions of words, his face would be right next to “shady.” So of course Twain and Tesla walked up to him and sat down. The man had a look of annoyance on his face the moment the two men approached and it turned into a sour grimace when they both sat down. Twain leaned over to Tesla and whispered in his ear “let me handle this. If we say the wrong thing he will tear us apart and wear us as a coat. Well he would wear me as a coat; you would probably be a winter scarf.” Tesla then whispered into Twain’s ear “Sam I would not initiate conversation with this man if I were dying and he were my doctor.” When they turned back the big and scary man was starring at them. The man spoke and his manor of speech was a sandwich of glass and sandpaper washed down with a cup of nails. “If you two are faggots you can just move on now before things get ugly.” “I assure you we are not sir. I wonder if you know anything about practitioners of voodoo in these parts.” Said Tesla. The large man just looked at Tesla for several minutes and then went back to his drink. “I said let ME do the talking.” “Ok if you give us the info we will give you $100 and I promise he will never talk to you again.” “150 and you pay my bar tab.” Said the man. “Which I am sure is much more than $150. What do we get for that gracious donation?” asked Twain. “You get an address and I might not beat you to death in the alley behind the bar.” sounds good “Sounds good” said Twain. The scary man gave them an address, which pointed them in the direction of the swamplands. “Well Tesla, pay the man we have a trip ahead of us” Tesla glared at Twain and then gave the man the money. They paid off the tab as they made their way out. “Thank you so much Sam for spending my money on that deplorable fiend, shall we go get a prostitute while were at it?” asked Tesla “Probably not a good idea, New Orleans is a shipping town, you might get crabs. I would not have had to give the man as much money if you had not drawn his ire so.” Said Twain. The two walked to the swamplands in relative silence except for the odd bless after a sneeze. After a good hour of truly uncomfortable silence they reached the swamps as indicated by the directions. There was not much to behold, miles of swamp marsh and if you squinted you could see a cabin in the distance. “Well what are we looking for?” Asked twain. “I do not know, he just gave us the address and said this is what we were looking for.” Said Twain. “This is indeed what you are looking for” said a man with an African accent before knocking Twain and Tesla out with a large log. Tesla and Twain came too in a strange room. They were on their knees with their arms tied behind their back and their feet tied together. The cabin they were hogtied in was in fact the very same one that they saw as only a squint before at the other end of the swamp marsh. They awoke with their attacker squatting in front of them still clutching onto the attack weapon. He was a large and fit man when he spoke his accent was foreign to the both of them, he was from the dark continent of Africa. His face was painted with white symbols; matching symbols painted and tattooed covered his body as well. It was clear that Tesla was right; this man was a voodoo master. The man banged the log on the ground of the cabin several times to make sure Twain and Tesla was awake and then stood up.  “Story teller and magic man (Twain turned to look at Tesla and mouthed the words ‘magic man’ inquisitively), you have entered a forbidden world (the man then banged the log against the ground several more times) you will leave now magic man or else death will be the only thing to welcome you.” The voodoo lord picked up Tesla and cut loose his ties. “As you say sir, untie my friend and we will go” Tesla said and then started to reach to Twain. The voodoo lord smacked away his hand. “No magic man, the story teller stays here. Man who tells tales is not to be trusted he stays. “NO!” Tesla screams. “Take me, as you say I am a magic man. I can use my magic for you.” “Ha ha ha, I know your skills magic man. Lighting from the sky in a room with mere mortals. It is forbidden to attack those who wield the power of magic, and even if the gods allowed it powder would have no effect on your magic.” Said the voodoo lord. “Powder?” asked Tesla. The voodoo lord picked up Twain “Unhand me you fucking insane brute” yelled Twain. “You will quiet soon enough story teller.” Said the Voodoo lord. He then produced an envelope of powder; he poured the powder into his hand and blew it into Twain’s face. Twains struggled ceased and a glazed look poured over his face. “WHAT DID YOU DO?” Tesla yelled into the lord’s face. “He is slave of my command now, he is but a zombie for Queeatchu” said Queeatchu. Tesla scrambled for what to say “Wait, let him go. I am not a magic man, it is just pretending to be magic.” Said Tesla. “You choose unwise words magic man” said Queeatchu “If what you say is true then I chose the right Zombie since as a master of trickery you would work your way out of control. Storyteller spreads his mind and makes it weak, easier to control. If you are no magic man then I am safe from retaliation from your magic. Now go magic man, or should I say trickster, before I cut you up and feed you cannibals.” Tesla left the cabin and looked back “stay away or your fates will be much more grave.” Said Queeatchu. Tesla took off his shoes and walked away towards the town. He made it to town after a long two hours of walking. He made it to his hotel and went to his room to gather his thoughts. You would think his thoughts were gathered during the walk but his mind during the walk was focused on the pain the rocky ground caused his bare feet. He put the shoes next to his bed and lay down. He needed rest for the day ahead.

Tesla had built makeshift labs in any state he visited and Louisiana was of course no exception. Tesla placed his shoes from the previous night and headed to what was once a clock repair shop. In his lab he grabbed a large magnifying glass and placed his shoes under it. “Eureka!” said Tesla. His suspicions were correct. Segments of the powder spit in Twains face landed on his shoe. He rushed to the other side of the lab and scoured through the drawers. He didn’t know how much time he had to save his friend and he wasted not a moment more. Tesla grabbed the drawer and poured it out on the desk. He grabbed a pair of small forceps from the piles of junk. He grabbed the segments of powder and placed them in a petri dish. “Now to call in a favor.”  said Tesla.

            Albert Johannes was a south African man who led a similar life in chemistry much the same as Tesla led in electricity and engineering. He came to the states at a young age and entered the world of science; he traveled the country and settled in Louisiana. To his credit Tesla listened to the young man’s story on a visit to Louisiana and gave him a loan to jump start his life the way that he had years ago. He had achieved some level of success, though not the level of Tesla, and he was always grateful to Tesla. He promised that he would pay him back however he could muster. Well this day Tesla asked for him with a courier message. He was a half days travel from New Orleans and he was told to cut that in half. No easy task alone, but he was also told to bring all of his tools and chemicals. Through an inventive mixture of trains, horse buggies, and things he was not very proud of, he was able to make it to New Orleans in seven hours. He went to the address he was ordered to and after placing down his equipment he embraced Tesla with a warm hug. He was a very friendly man. “A pleasure as always Tesla” said Johannes. Tesla brushed off his coat. “Indeed, but let us do away with the formalities for now. There is work to be done and you are late. If I am curt I apologize but there is a man’s life at stake.” Johannes nodded in agreement and got to work. He placed a large bag on the table and took out a crude microscope. “Do you have the sample?”asked Johannes. Tesla handed the dish to him.