A Brand New and Shiny Orleans part 2

Well, hello there.

It has been a few months since I posted my last blog. After I posted that several things seemingly happened all at once.

1.) Various family came and went through my house

2.)The seemingly never ending vicious lady in my known as semester finals reared her ugly head.

3.) I am very lazy

4.) This is really the most important, the lady friend presented in the previous part has become full on GIRLFRIEND

*FIREWORKS*

*SPARKLERS*

So needless to say the priorities shift. But my class schedule is lifted slightly for the time being so I will jump back into it.





And so we woke up bright and awake and ready to take on the city that never sleeps. We then remembered that we weren't in Vegas, put away our gambling money, and ventured into New Orleans.

If you have never been to New Orleans and you wake up in the mood for breakfast type food there is one place you need to visit at least once in your life.

It is not just a special gift package. It is a 24 coffee and beignet stand offering exactly what it says on the tin. COFFEE AND BEIGNETs! Some folks may say "DON'T GO THERE! IT'S A TOURIST TRAP" They may be right but if you have never been then you silence the inner demons of logic and get yourself some god damn coffee and beignets!

And so we did. We tried to drive straight there and we discovered something, New Orleans is kind of a bitch to drive around. Everything is close for sure, but it is also mostly one way streets so missing a turn becomes an exercise in futility. We eventually paid hopefully not too much for parking and ventured off to the legendary peddlers of caffeine and powdered sugar.

The coffee with beignets at Du Monde are special in that they put a metric fuckton of powdered sugar on the beignets.

mmm diabetes

There are no knifes and forks at this place. Pretense is given away and is instead replaced with pure animal intensity.

When my girlfriend and I went in, we began as a pretty couple from Florabama ready to experience a new town and all it had to offer.

included at no extra charge is the thumb of our waitress

When presented with our mound of dough and sugar we dove in like James Cameron searching for the titanic.

All that remains is tears

Sufficiently filled with sugar, coffee, and sadness we headed off into all New Orleans had to offer. We decided to tourist it up and go to the French Quarter.

I have never been to France but if New Orleans is an accurate representation then it mostly consists of people hocking overpriced art and people in silly costumes.

The transformer is a bit of both categories really.

After seeing the sights and loitering some nice antique shops and taking in the general macabre of New Orleans

we decided to take in a favorite place of mine in the city.

This hole in the wall bar/restaurant is a required visit every time I go to New Orleans. They also have some of the best food I have ever had. Since we already ate and we were on vacation though, we had just a light snack.

I didn't think it came in bottles

This amuse-bouche reminded me of our second main event of the day. There is an old rum distillery in New Orleans,conveniently called the "Old New Orleans Rum Distillery, that  was sadly closed on my last visit. Not one to be deterred me and my lovely lady drove to the shitty part of New Orleans ready to get our Rum on. We arrived a bit early however, and we decided to get the party going before hand.

I went to the local gas station and picked up a favorite of highschoolers and homeless nation wide.

They all have flavors but they all taste like burning

We are adorable

Appropriately liquored up (although it was probably closer to cough syrup) we ventured towards the Rum Distillery.

We were greeted with the drinks above. Some sort of ginger ale booze mixture that mystifies and amazed our already boozy bellies.


The tour then began.

We learned important facts such as what goes into Rum.

What rum goes into

What goes into rum

Mustaches

What rum goes through

And we got to try a bit of pure rum ethanol. Like moon shine for classy folks.

Though still in a mason jar

We also learned that 8 feet of water and an angry bitch named katrina will never stop people from having their rum GOD DAMN IT.

Ironically the hurricane drink does contain rum.

Sufficiently liquored up we hit the town with my sister and her now Fiancé Steve.

Where we went and how did the concert go? Find out next entry...soon probably!