The third Entry

Again this entry is based on actual events. Tesla was friends with many prominent people in society. Twain's bathroom escapade also actually happened. It's the real things in life that make us smile. Enjoy.

2

            Mark had good company the following day: Fellow author and rival mustachioed gentleman Francis Marion Crawford, the lead of the fatal play “our American cousin” and general famous actor Joseph Jefferson, and writer and diplomat Robert Underwood Johnson. Johnson would actually become very close friends with Tesla himself, but that’s another story. Everyone gathered into to tesla’s lab to witness the experiments. They were certainly something to behold. Huge streaks of what appeared to be lightning traveling across the room some fifteen feet. The camera was also especially exciting. The first photographs to ever take advantage of phosphorescent light were taken for the group. Twain, like the others, marveled at this and couldn’t believe what he was seeing. One of the most interesting things to Twain was a device Tesla called the mechanical oscillator. This was sort of a crude engine running on AC power. Tesla noticed that the machine put out a series of vibrations that he figured would be therapeutic. Also giving people the chance to take “high voltage sparks throughout the body in their photographs” said a hopefully joking Tesla.  Without skipping a beat Twain jumped at the experience to be a guinea pig for the experiment. “Are you sure?” asked a hesitant Tesla. “Nikola, either these experiments work or they will kill me. Either way we are making history, and I trust you enough that ‘Maniac Scientist Kills Author’ won’t be the headline” Twain took the photo, which to this day is still famous. Then he stood on the oscillator platform while Tesla activated the machine and the vibrations flew through him. Twain was, probably for the first time in his life, giddy with excitement. He yelled over the machine and the vibrations “This giiiiiives yoooou viggggoooooor and vatallllllllllityyyyyyyy.” Everyone laughed and cheered him along. Eventually Tesla implored Twain to get off since his lab techs had experienced similar vibrations on other experiments they knew the inevitable fate of sitting for too long. “Nonsense Nikola this is far to enjoyable to stop now” Twain said while making punching gestures in the air. A few minutes later Twain jumped off with much quickness and a worried look on his face “Quick Tesla. Where is it?” Tesla pointed to the nearest restroom and Twain bolted off as quick as his legs would carry him. It seems that prolonged intense vibrations have a laxative effect on people. Though two major events began that day. Tesla would start work on the world’s first vibrating chair/toilet and Twain never called Tesla by his first name again. Tesla was fine with this because he said his first name coming from Twain’s heavy accent sounded like a dying bird.

            Eventually the others left and Twain and Tesla retired to have a scotch and history trivia session. After the game concluded Tesla confided in his new friend that inventing can be disheartening. He explained “It seems I cannot go even a week without some unscrupulous man coming in with the idea of weaponizing my inventions for god knows what reason.” I say no of course but the more resilient ones come back more determined with more money, it’s almost enough to make a man quit the world of science and move back home.” Mark was stunned “you are talking crazy Tesla, the country would be ruined without you. These people, they need someone to show them what’s what.” Tesla stood up at attention “Now that’s a good idea! Follow me Sam.” Tesla hurried down the corridor with Twain trying to keep up. They went through Tesla’s lab and past all the inventions they exhibited that day. Past they walked by lab tables, chalkboards, drawing boards, and what appeared to be a combination lunch nook and sleeping quarters for the lab technicians and possibly Tesla himself on long nights. They finally stopped next to two large doors with several locks. Tesla grabbed a wooden box from the desk near the doors, which jingled as he picked it up. One by one Nickola Tesla picked up a key out of the box and unlocked one lock on the door and then dropped in box. Seven separate locked were undone by seven separate keys. Finally unlocked Tesla swung the doors up and went in encouraging Twain to follow close behind. “I am flattered sir but I do not think this friendship is mutual in the way you may hope” half joked Twain. Tesla chuckled “You are flattering yourself Samuel.” Tesla lit several lanterns and the room was illuminated bringing into scope the room. “My dear god”, gasped Twain.